God Abandoned

crucifix abandoned

In the land that God abandoned, I struggled to breathe or reflect. The streets swarmed with the virus of every type of person.

Travelling to work or to see a friend dragged me into a swamp of chaos, noise and limited space. My mind overcrowded in this land of too many.

I edged through a field of land mines; skirted the ravenous abyss. Too much for me to take. Too many words couldn’t be said. Too many expressions forbidden.

Born white, born straight, born male; you better ditch those titles right now. Check your DNA; find something exotic about yourself; you’ll have an easier life if you identify as a cow.

In our politically correct, liberal, feminist society you can be anything you want to be except yourself. You can try to resist; a bigot; a racist; a misogynist. You don’t stand a chance; the language is even against you. This artificial creation we now call our world wants to see you in a dress.

Take Offence (you know you want to)

Words and actions, but not to your satisfaction. Words and actions: they cause you much agitation. You know you ache to take offence; please don’t keep us in suspense.

He dared to express what was on his mind; caused your heart to race. We know he was offensively unkind; you had to be certain something was said. Once your stomach churned, his free speech could not be allowed to spread.

Poisonous Lies

Injected deep into the veins of those with hungry ears; the whispered rumours of someone else’s pain. They are ravenous tumours who feed on the flesh of fear.

The blood aches for the heat of fragile words fired at the heart; bitter fags flap their lies into the night air. They are diseased junkies who truly believe they are smart.

Trophy Bitch

You saw happiness in my eyes; my heart beat faster than before. You felt your control slip away; your disdain too vile to ignore.

Railed at him ’cause he was man enough; no match for my hot-blooded Asian knight. He kicked down my walls; hit the green light; your dull British blood could never excite.

Daddy went crazy

Ten months had passed since I saw the vision of Father Christmas. My parents were still together, but things hadn’t improved. The arguments and fights continued; it felt normal to me, and I presumed all parents lived like that. I didn’t thought to mention it to school friends.

One October afternoon, while my younger brother played in the lounge and I up in my bedroom, my parents started another fight. It seemed more intense than usual, and Daddy shouted up to me. I ran to the stairs, but I froze part way down them when my father charged along the hall from the kitchen wielding a carving knife.

Hunted

You hunted me without the fear of others; pursued me into the wilderness of my desire. You caught me with the power of a tiger; seduced me until my delicate heart raged with fire.

No one said I would be easy prey for you. There’s so much, there’s always so much to be understood; When you go hunting there is always a risk; fear of failure could so diminish your lustihood.

Devils and Monsters

Through thick leather flaps, I inched into an underworld; heavy beats, writhing bodies and walls smeared with sin. The gatekeeper wrapped a numbered strap around my wrist; in a drunken haze, lost souls tore away their skin.

My heart pounded inside my chest and my hands trembled; I undressed, friends left me and we were like strangers. We sashayed into the pit of devils and monsters; all too shameful to notice the vulgar dangers.

You’re Going to Die Outside

JAMES STRETCHED FROM under the safety of his warm quilt to switch off the alarm. As he did, his tired eyes spotted the red circle on his calendar that had spent weeks slithering toward him like a preying snake. Today it coiled around his body and crushed the life from it. Today he would digest slowly in some overactive stomach acid. Today he must leave his house.

James remained in bed and stared at the ceiling while listening to Classic FM. He contemplated having to venture outside for the first time in years. His stomach acid swirled and he couldn’t decide whether he needed to shit or vomit or both. His heart thumped several beats above the legal limit but he didn’t care about the police coming to arrest him, so long as he could stay at home.

In the dark

Forgive me for my youth; I allowed him to make me old. I am repentent. Forgive me for my youth; I allowed him to scar my soul.

In the dark, in the dark, I grew while he broke my heart; may God forgive him. In the dark, in the dark, I lived while they closed their eyes; may God forgive them. In the dark, in the dark, I died not living my youth; may God forgive me.

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