Born wicked in a world ruled by the morally superior,
with the power to cause pain and death to those born perverse.
It’s okay to abuse we who lay with man instead of woman.
So violently oppressed, but it is what we deserve.
Born gay; it’s not okay.
Beaten, raped and murdered by heterosexual hate.
Born gay; we’ll burn in hell.
Two men loving each other is an unnatural state.
Throw us from straight towers,
but secretly you’d love to know what it’s like to be gay.
While I lay surrounded by the inpenetrable darkness, my skin trembled beneath its glistening coat of cold sweat and my nightclothes clung to my body as if cling-film wrapped around fresh meat. My fingers grasped the edge of my duvet, while my eyes stared toward the curtained window opposite my bed. What was that? I held my breath while my heart pounded inside my chest.
My eyes squeezed shut while invisible hands squeezed my brain. I gritted my teeth and grabbed my sweltering head. The cold sweat gushed down my blistering face and coursed along the trembling skin of my body.
With you I have no cause to worry;
the pain of my history may be released.
With you I can be honest and naive;
the fear of abusive men is soon decreased.
When I reveal the truth of who I am,
you don’t react like a childish fool.
You understand my age dictates a past;
there was a life I lived before you.
I spotted the figure of male darkness,
surrounded by an aura of despair.
My gaze soaked in his masculinity;
God’s soothing voice cautioned me to beware.
His intense eyes held me under their spell
while his narrow waist and broad chest entranced.
My breath vanished, frozen by fear and lust,
but little could I do while he advanced.
I felt his hand grope my skin;
his fear burned my soul.
I screamed into the darkness;
his scent stopped my death.
My family closed their eyes;
No one saw me beg.
I felt him invade my fire;
his pain scarred my sin.
I bled into the dark soil;
his rage bruised my heart.
My family closed their ears;
No one heard me cry.
Love comes in many forms or so we are told;
I thought you’d make me feel safe and warm forever.
Like a predator you hunted me all night;
giving me what my father would always withhold.
Your warmth took my hand, kissed it and held my gaze;
unsure if I were dreaming, I inhaled your scent.
For the first time, I felt a man’s strong embrace;
a lifetime aching to burn with the inner blaze.
Drowning in British filth, I felt dejected.
No rescue; no peace.
My peers swam in disease, each one infected.
Discovering the truth made my heart turn cold.
No kindness; no warmth.
The endless deceit caused my soul to grow old.
You invaded my dreams while strangers passed me by.
I screamed into the dark when I saw you in their face.
Men I had not met ran into my bedroom;
soothed my pounding heart.
With a smile, I had them take your place.
They whispered love into my ear;
for just a moment, I felt fatherly warmth.
Hope filled my broken heart—they may be you.
Released from the endless torment;
they wrapped me in their strong arms.
While running through dingy hallways, I pull on each door but all are locked. Please, God, help me! There are no windows to escape through into the daylight sun.
Is the sunlight real or merely my mind playing tricks on me?
My chest aches while I hold my breath, trapped under a thick sheet of ice, with no one able to hear my watery screams. Why can’t anyone hear me calling? My fists pound from below while my heartbeat does the same inside my pleading chest.
Introverts need time alone to recharge their depleted energy levels. For an introvert spending large amounts of time around others, or in a highly stimulating environment, is like leaving the car lights on over night—you wake up to find your battery drained, and your car won’t start.
Introverts soon get drained and exhausted if they spend too much time surrounded by things demanding their focus or attention. For an introvert some time alone is vital to survival. We just need it in the same way we all need air to breathe.